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mismatch monday

April 2, 2017

this week on the cupid... fourteen guys viewed my profile. the youngest was thirty-five. the oldest was s e v e n t y. they're all from texas. this is one guy's main profile photo:


and this is the seventy-year-old's profile text:

BULLETIN: Given this latest information in a blog entry from OK Cupid: in which they admit to reading messages sent between members here, and intended to be private, I will no longer send nor respond to messages on this site...Anyone wishing to contact me should use the email address near the bottom of this page...Please reference OK Cupid in some way so I will know to reply...Thank you...

To the ladies who were kind enough to rate my profile: I have no way of knowing who you are because I'm too cheap to put myself on the "A" List...If you'll send me a message instead, I'll be happy to respond...

On the subject of messages, why are so few ladies not courteous enough to reply to a message?...If I take the time to write to you, it means I have some interest on some level...If you don't like me just say so...I'm a big boy and know how to handle rejection...

I'm mostly interested in ladies who are local-ish or thinking about a move to this area...But I'm always willing to talk to anyone...

Times are tough, and pickin's are slim...But I still want what's difficult to find...I'm attracted to women who are younger, caucasoid and slender or athletic...I see many profiles listed as "average" which are nowhere close, and some list "a few extra pounds" that I can't seem to find...I define "average" as "having a discernible waist"...

A few details about me that may help you form an opinion...I sold my business and retired after I was divorced...I'm a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had or wanted a drink in over 35 years...I own my own home, have my own money and pay my own bills...

My practical side tells me the glass is neither half full, nor half empty...The glass is simply twice as big as it needs to be...

And when I mention a preference for slender, caucasian women, please don't jump to the conclusion that I've excluded you because you don't fit what you believe to be my definition...I consider the total package when looking for attraction...Your idea of "slim" or "HWP" may not be the same as mine...If the attraction is there, I'll let you know and I expect you'll extend the same courtesy to me...

But here's one important thing to remember...If your "first date" scenario includes drinking; if wine-tasting events are on your list of interests; if you drink every day, I may not be the man for you...I can understand and accept someone wanting to have an occasional glass of wine on a special occasion, but this ex-lush is staying dry and if you have a need to drink, that makes us incompatible...

OKCupid asked for my sign, but it wasn't listed...It's "Anything Helps...God Bless"...

Ladies, if you have any interest or questions, feel free to send an email...My personal motto is "Cogito, ergo boom!" which, roughly translated from the Latin, means, "I think, therefore I carry a .45..."

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