wednesday, july twentieth. dental appointment for cleaning (which i'd put off because i'm an idiot); purchase two new tires to replace the baldest two of the four i've been spinning for months. made smidge of a down payment on wheels because mercy bocephus (my car) has hubcaps, and they're pretty lame. got his oil changed and his windshield wipers replaced, and then he got a bath. all this took several hours, during which i had subway for lunch (it's been YEARS since i've eaten at subway, yall... i'm blaming the shit end to the day on the fact that i chose that establishment for filling my belly... maybe going there upset my world's karmic balance or something... i've been thinking a lot on choices for the best week or two, so...) i took a copy of that week's newspaper to a friend. and then i got a phone call from a human resources associate at the houston chronicle, which recently acquired the company for which i once worked, thereby making me reapply for my job, to learn that my services were basically no longer needed, and so i would not be transitioning to their staff.
monday, july twenty-fifth. i learn the flexible spending account i'd established the year before and requested the absolute maximum contributions be deducted from my paycheck each month and placed on the card i'd received would be canceled on the day my employment with the company would be terminated... thursday, july twenty-eighth. i had nine hundred dollars on that card. i'd set aside the money because i had dental work that i wanted done that i'd put off because i'm an idiot. i check with my dentist to see if it's possible that he could squeeze in some time to see me because it's NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS i'm losing, and i know there's work to be done, and surely, he'd see this as an emergency. no joy.
wednesday, july twenty-seventh. i get the day off from work and go to my dentist to check one more time. still no joy. so i find another one who can see me and can find work that needs to be done because i'm an idiot who smoked cigarettes like a fiend once upon a time (DON'T SMOKE YALL, if only because all the sugar in those damned rolls of tobacco will seriously mess your mouth up and make you have to spend a shit ton of money on crowns and root canals) and guzzle dr. pepper like they're going to stop producing it tomorrow so get it while i can. so yeah, there's work to be done. turns out i've got not one but THREE CAVITIES and one of them's so bad (this would be one of those teeth that had had a root canal) that it'd have to be extracted. how much does all this work cost? TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. thank god for flexible spending accounts. i spent every penny of it wednesday.
thursday, july twenty-eighth. end of days. i has a sad.
friday, july twenty-ninth. half past seven a.m. bright-eyed and bushy-tailed i go to the new dentist (the one who actually did want my money, thank you very much, and did give a shit about the condition of my mouth) who yanks out the errant tooth. without anesthesia, yall. i got shots, sure. lots of shots. but i was AWAKE while he yanked that bitch out, and it took HOURS. my brain was going off on some VERY interesting tangents. it was kind of creepy.
saturday, july thirtieth. babysat the wonder twins. they are now seven. i miss them being little. so much.
sunday, july thirty-first. brother, his wife, her sister and her sister's daughter came over to swim and cook. it was a nice day. except for the fact that the pain meds i was prescribed fixed it so i couldn't keep food down. good times.
monday, august first. babysat the wonder twins again. they were godawful difficult. this would be one of those days where i'm SO SO glad i don't have kids. also one of those where i feel horribly guilty about being glad about that.
ran into some of my parents friends at pappadeaux's. they are well-loved. they are well-loving, generally as a rule. their children are all happily established in their lives for the most part. they've had a clear vision of what they want and how to get it.
i've never had that. not really.
watched thirteen going on thirty again. sometimes i wish i could go back to that one moment in my life and make the right choice, so that my life could be what it was meant to be. because god knows i have no idea what that is. i keep grasping at things, and they keep getting snatched from me.