|summer before freshman year|
the most popular tunes of the year i began high school included: the bangles' walk like an egyptian, heart's alone, whitney houston's i wanna dance with somebody, starship's nothing's gonna stop us now, whitesnake's here i go again, bon jovi's livin' on a prayer and u2's with or without you. films released that year were: the princess bride, dirty dancing, full metal jacket, the untouchables, fatal attraction, less than zero, lethal weapon, good morning vietnam and the lost boys. among the new york times bestsellers were the tommyknockers and misery by stephen king, presumed innocent by scott turow and patriot games by tom clancy.
i was binging on def leppard, van halen and u2, dirty dancing and the sweet valley high series. and, of course, star wars.
my extracurricular activities included art club and swim team. in swim practice, i never used a cap because i hated wearing the things and my hair was short enough that i could do without it. my hair, which was black at the roots, then brown, then orange, then blonde and finally green at the tips from the chlorine. so there's my freshman swim team photo. with the hair and the braces and the hose that are too dark because i'm welsh and english and can't tan worth a damn, and i hated wearing flats without hose because i was also a prude. my father was the school superintendent, and i was a new kid at school. i had no chance whatsover of forging any kind of friendships. at this point in my life, i'd been suicidal for six years. i took my rage out on the water.
|some swim meet freshman year|
i retired from swimming at the conclusion of my junior year. we'd gotten a new coach, whom i didn't like. and i'd been competing since i was ten. i was exhausted. i think i'd cut art club at the end of my sophomore year.
the only pictures i liked of me were the ones my mother insisted upon when i turned sixteen and my senior photos.
i was binging on queensryche and nelson, the two terminator films, robin hood: prince of thieves and drop dead fred (LOVE that movie) and thomas harris and judith mcnaught novels. and star wars. still. always and forever.
|me with butchered bangs and the principal, mr. york|
to the nerd entering high school, i'd say don't let your peers define you. don't let them determine your worth. don't blow off your assignments just because they're easy and you think they're pointless. if you're smart enough to be an a student, BE AN A STUDENT. i could've been in the top five percent of my class. instead i was at the bottom of the first third. why? because i didn't do my homework.
to the nerds who have graduated high school, those punks who picked on you? they don't outgrow that shit. if you were like me and battled depression with delusions that as adults your peers would be kinder to you, it doesn't work that way. i waited almost three decades to use my voice because i thought no one would want to listen. i waited for the days to get better... and i wasted decades doing that. i beseech you... don't make that mistake.
go on with your overly intellectual, obsessive, socially inept selves.
audrey louise blogged about this. go on over to her page and say howdy.