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darkness has a hunger that's insatiable

December 2, 2013

you is kind. you is smart. you is important. 
viola davis as aibileen clark in the help
kathryn stockett

for about two years, i worked two jobs: stock at target and sales at pottery barn kids. fridays and saturdays were my longest days, especially during the holidays. i barely slept.

during much of my employment at target, i felt unappreciated and horribly used. there were far too many days i came home from work crying. i was ashamed and annoyed that i couldn’t do better for myself. wouldn’t do better. that my choices, my apparent laziness, my inability to combat my fears had brought me to this point.

one morning during the holiday season, one particularly ugly morning when failure and despair were looming over me, when i was certain i was a nothing, when i felt smaller than i had in my adolescence, i looked at my phone on a break and there was a picture of this quote.

the kind i knew, though most times i feel like people don’t value that trait all that much. the smart i knew, too, though sometimes i wish i weren’t quite so brilliant because brilliance isn’t always beautiful. but the important? i’m hardly ever certain of this.

i hadn’t read the book. i hadn’t seen the film. the sentiment was new to me.

i don’t remember where i saw it. if it’d been sent by someone through an email or a text, or if one of my friends had posted it to facebook or pinterest. i can’t tell you how it came to me.

i only remember that i read it and wept. not because i was sad, but because it pleased me, SO much, to read that in that moment. because somehow, somebody knew that i needed to see that just then. those signs we’re always asking god to give us… i was certain that was one of them.

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i'll be running this series through the holiday season, up to the week prior to christmas.
if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

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