not even the trees. also called nine.

March 11, 2012

night terrors

half past midnight
his body fails him, falls, breaks
his spirit flees

miles away, my parents sleep

more miles, my pain begins
stomach cramps and surliness

a stranger finds him
fifty feet from the entrance
broken, face-down, dead on concrete

they sleep

the pain is fierce
i leave my friends for my apartment
the streets are slick with mist
i worry i won’t make it
it won’t rain, but it can’t be dry

another stranger, an officer
bound to protect and serve
wakes my parents

they lie in bed holding each other, crying together

i weed my musical garden
stop for a second to admire one of its blooms
a song of loss, of grief, of forced solitude
not even the trees

i step outside
smoke a cigarette
white smoke rises and fades into white sky
it won’t rain, but it can’t be dry
i sleep on the sofa

the phone

my father wakes me

my brother’s gone


  1. i am so very sorry for your loss.

  2. This is both heartbreaking and beautiful. It kills me that that happened to you and your family.

  3. The imagery, the words ...
    so very sorry, so much pain xxx

  4. Wow - this is incredibly powerful and heartwrenching. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  5. Very sad and powerful and scary.

  6. What a beautiful tribute. I can so clearly see your grief. Wonderful piece of writing. So very sad the event which inspired it had to happen to you and your family.
    On a brighter note, I gave you the Sunshine award. Seems very apt that it's today when you could benefit from some SONshine in your soul. Love you my chapstick friend.
    The award is here.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge