the no good, very bad day ... mostly

so this was supposed to be my happy thought last night as i fell asleep. and it was. but then ...

i woke up at one a.m. popped another half of an ambien and waited for my ability to concentrate successfully on one happy thought to return. i waited. and while i was doing this waiting, i watched some of my favorite scenes from one day and watched elvis costello videos in hopes that i could find something worth appreciating in the works of someone who is considered great. yeah, i came up empty handed on that last bit. i'd managed to forget accidents will happen for a number of years, and now i am reminded of that stupid, stupid tune. thanks.

i went to sleep at four a.m.

and woke up at six a.m.

only now, now my brain has somehow developed an unpleasant and unyielding interest to read up on world war two. at seven a.m. i could've gone outside and taken a walk beneath the happy, happy blue sky. i could've relocated to the glider rocker in the living room, propped my feet up, propped my laptop on my lap and watched a movie. or two.

but no, i am absorbed in the wikipedia files regarding serial killing and psychoses. and i know this is what i ought not be doing.

but i spend hours doing this.

so yeah. the irony. girl goes to bed terrified. girl wakes up thinking of terrible things.

one employer calls me at half past nine to inform me that i will be working today. yeah, i kind of figured that.

another employer calls half an hour later to ask if i'd be interested in working some overnight shifts on the presentation team. um, yeah, i would've been all about this. except i'd requested off and so i am technically on vacation. so no. no. no. no. and i can hear my father's voice in my head. yes. yes. yes.

on brighter notes, i managed to get a spot in the second row at the mall, panera had chicken and wild rice soup today, and my store manager gave me off every day on next week's schedule. and i was so happy with this, that i hurried to sonic and bought her a giant diet coke with hardly any ice as a thank you. i got me a giant coke with lots of ice while i was there, so it wasn't so selfless.

and then everybody and god wanted this that and the other, and i spent five hours being spun around without more than two seconds to myself.

five hours. it was supposed to be four. but my last customer was one of those who has to take everything apart and hem and haw and ... so convincing her to spend three hundred bucks took sixty minutes. sixty minutes of time that was passing after my schedule had said i could stop kissing people's asses.

and then for bag check, they'd changed the rules that any purse regardless of its size has to examined by the manager. this would include opening up zipped compartments and outside pockets. my bag is about the size of a ziplock sandwich bag. i work at a store whose merchandise generally weighs about six hundred times what my bag does. at least. i'm quite confident there's absolutely nothing i could smuggle out of the store in that bag.

i finally manage to free myself from the snags of customer service and get to my car. my badassed two-door phineas boba fett acura rsx car that could go ZoOoOoMy fast, if i let. my car that ZzZziPpPps everywhere, when i let it. my car that is six years old or so, and already has a bit of banged up going on, so i'm trying to be more careful with it. only i'm eager to the hell out of dodge and irritated that i'm having to wait for the slow-moving neanderthal who's not sure down which lane he would prefer to travel.

i hop the curb because the driver of one oncoming car doesn't seem to care so much that my badass vehicle is there.

it's a day, okay? a really unpleasant day, and the only thing i've liked about it so far is that my store manager was happy with me today and did a nice thing for me. that's it really.

and then i went to pappadeaux's.

and the shucker and the bartender go like this:

bartender (who's been calling it his bar) says: jose brings in the ladies. i drive'm away.

for some reason, this amuses me. it gave me the best laugh all day. and i was so happy to be laughing again that i found the manager and relayed this conversation to him. he was amused as well. so seeing that he could laugh with his crew, that made me happy, too.

so. here's to tomorrow, to seeking the happy gem. the bright spot. cause those are what makes it worth it, right?

that, or just letting me camp out at pappadeaux's all day, antagonizing the bar staff and crafting badass fiction. that would do it a little better, i would think. but i'll take what i get.

oh! on a happier note, yall would totally have loved my outfit today! tommy bahamas' moonrise safari dress and pacific cardigan cinched with a wide, woven brown belt, leggings and my boots. and i felt pretty nifty. so that was alright, too.

so the last happy thought for the day is more like a prayer, and i'm hoping yall could help me out with it. i wanna be asleep by ten p.m. i don't wanna wake up any earlier than six a.m. eight would be better, but i'll settle for six. and if that's not asking for too much, if i'm gonna wake up thinking of men with great character (for lack of a better phrase), can you put johnny depp or brad pitt in there instead?