the thirteenth

June 21, 2010

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up, and why; who was your role model that inspired you? -- Janna

I wanted to be a wife, mother and teacher when I grew up because I saw, always, how much my parents loved each other, how much they needed each other, how much they loved us, and I wanted that for myself. Wanted to be able to give that much of myself. I wanted to teach because I’ve always loved learning, and I wanted to pass that love onto others.

I wanted to be exactly like my mother because she seemed to do such a wonderful job keeping us all in line. She’s always been so selfless, so thoughtful, so involved in so many things.

There was never a time when I wondered if she loved me, even when she was yelling at me for not doing something, like picking up my room, or lying about something or for not passing my classes at each three weeks period. I never wondered if she loved my Dad or my brothers. I knew. She never had to say it, though she said often. It was just there, just as she was always there, this intangible force that held our house together.

I wanted to be that strong.

previous essays: the tenth, the eleventh, the twelfth.


  1. I hope your parents read your blog, I can only cross my fingers that my kids feel the same way sometime - I'm trying!

  2. What a wonderful mom you must have. I agree with Millennium Housewife, I hope she reads this. When I was little, all I wanted to be was a teacher. I did that, for a time, and now coming full circle to home school, I'm doing it again. I'm a firm believer in God directing our paths, despite the detours we take, Like I said before, I think good things are in your future.